My Journal
By Harriman Nelson
66
I’d been curious to know how the boys were doing, so I’d asked
Chip to arrange a little spy session for this evening. But there’d been no
signal from Joe’s laptop for hours and it was getting late.
“I wonder what’s gotten Joe too busy to work on his stories? He’s
always at it when he has a spare moment,” Chip muttered from his seat at my desk.
“Well,” I said as I sat down on my bunk, “they might be enjoying
the cruise ship’s night life, trying their hand at the helm….”
“Joe’s just powered on…..” Chip interrupted and turned the
videophone toward me.
The image formed of Joe in front of his monitor. Of course, we
couldn’t tell what he was looking at or typing. We could see, however, Lee,
sprawled out on the lower berth, (it was a cheap cabin), wastebasket beside
him.
“Oh gawd,” Lee groaned, “why didn’t you stop me from agreeing to
this part of the trip?”
“You didn’t complain when you read ‘two day cruise to Ireland’ on
the original itinerary.”
“Well, I wasn’t exactly in my right mind just then.”
“Got news for you, bro. You still aren’t.”
“Not now, Joe...”Lee said wearily.
“Good as time as ever,” Joe turned, “face it. You’re only half
yourself without Seaview, if I may be so bold to say so.”
“She belongs to Chip.”
“He doesn’t want her.”
“He just doesn’t know he does, yet.”
“Damn it, Lee, you..ohhhh, “Joe groaned, reached over the small
space and grabbed Lee’s wastebasket for his own needs.
“Serves you right,” Lee said.
Just then there was a knock at the door.
“S’open,” Lee called out weakly.
“You missed the second seating for supper,” Mrs. Piccadilly said
as she entered, then, as she saw that
the occupants were in no mood for conversation, or food for that matter, she
added, “oh dear. Perhaps a rain check is in order.”
“Thanks anyway, Mrs. P.,” Lee said, while Joe took the wastebasket
into the head to empty and rinse it out. How many times it had been used was
anyone’s guess.
“Oh, what’s this?” she asked as she saw the screen. “The famous
Blarney Stone? Not on our itinerary I’m afraid, though you boys do like to
wander off by yourselves. You do realize though, don’t you, that in order to
kiss the silly thing, you have to lie on your back, lean backwards way over a ledge
to do it. Good thing they have railings to hold on to now. Some people actually
fell to their deaths attempting it. I think there’s still a disclaimer one has
to sign in case of death or dismemberment. I simply can’t imagine that being
bestowed the gift of the gab if you kiss the stone can be so important to risk
it.”
“He’s the one who wants to kiss it,” Lee moaned, “not me.”
“Well, whatever you both decide to do, please try not to miss
joining us in Dublin. There’s heaps and heaps of things to see and do. And I’m sure your tummies will be
all
better by then.”
“Thanks, Mrs. P.,” Joe said, emerging from the head and returning
the wastebasket beside Lee. “We intend to enjoy Ireland to the fullest,
especially with you.”
“Is everything all right in here?” an officer with three stripes
on his shoulder, caduceus on his collar, and ‘Dr. James Bunyan’ engraved on his
name badge, said as he appeared at the door. “I heard you were checking on some
of your group and….ohmygod…Lee? Lee Crane?”
“Nelson-Crane,” both Mrs. P. and Joe said in unison.
“Yes, yes, of course. I didn’t know you were on this part of the
tour…and…oh dear,” he began to laugh. “We bubbleheads never could abide surface
ships, at least for awhile... Hello, Lee.”
“Hi Jim,” Lee said weakly as the man sat on the edge of the berth
and helped Lee to sit up against the pillows.
“This is Joe…” Lee began to introduce his roommate.
“Yes, Commander Jackson, I’ve seen news footage of you as well.”
“What the devil are you doing serving on a cruise ship?” Lee
asked. “I thought you wanted to set up practice in Connecticut.”
“I did. But I had to do something to get away from my mother in
law…just kidding. Actually I was only a junior partner and we needed to
downsize. You can imagine the rest. It’s really quite nice being a ship’s
doctor, really. Minor afflictions or accidents, primarily from slipping on wet
decks. Lots of fun ashore. After we drop off some of our passengers off in Ireland, we’ll be picking up a
new group to cruise to Scandinavia. So, how long have you been
seasick since we shoved off?”
“Since he stepped aboard,” Joe said.
“And Joe was after about five minutes,” Lee said.
“Can you do anything for
them, doctor?” Mrs. P. asked.
“For Lee, afraid not. He’s allergic to every motion sickness remedy
known to man. As for the commander,
what’s your history?”
“Don’t think I’m allergic, but the OTC’s don’t work very well.
But, the worst of it will pass soon enough. Not like I’m on the bridge or
anything.”
“How do you know the captain, Doctor?” Mrs. P. asked.
“Let’s just say I’ve had the pleasure of his company on a
professional basis when we were both in the regular Navy….”
Lee interrupted with a negative nod toward Bunyan.
“I can only tell you, Mrs. Piccadilly,” Dr. Bunyan continued,”
that he was the worst patient I’ve ever had. Now, did you have any other
members of your group that didn’t appear at either dinner seating and might be
just as sick as these two?”
“Actually, yes…just down the hall….”
“Very well, lead on. We’ll talk later, Lee,” the doctor said as he
escorted Mrs. P. out, turning with a wink at Lee.
As soon as the door closed Lee sighed, muttering, “Who’d have
thought.”
“Well?” Joe asked.
“Well, what?”
“C’mon, bro. Fess up...who, what, when, where and why with this sawbones?”
“Not now, Joe...I’m too sick.”
“All right, all right....want me to keep looking at things to do
when we get to Ireland?”
“Just so it’s not food. God, I can’t stomach the thought...if you
can forgive the pun.”
“Okay, well, I did see some spectacular looking cliffs along the
shoreline, but I think that’s Northern Ireland...not near the port we’re going
to. But we can still get there by train or bus...and there’s an old house Sir
Walter Raleigh lived in for a couple of years...this is funny...says here that a workman saw smoke
coming from out of his mouth and dumped a bucket of water on him to stop the
conflagration...but seems Raleigh had merely been smoking that newfangled pipe
of tobacco that he’d brought back from the New World.”
Both laughed but it upset Lee’s stomach and he needed the
wastebasket.
“Sorry,” Joe said. “You know, if memory serves, I think old
Raleigh was arrested once by Queen Elizabeth, the first one, for getting married.
Seems she was a jealous
old bird. And later, King James had him executed for not discovering El Dorado
during one of his trips to the New World, can you imagine that? Anyway, the house
looks like it’s out of an old movie about Shakespeare. Lee, there’s just too
much to see and do in this country...tell you what, tomorrow, when we’re both
feeling better...”
“If.”
“If we’re feeling better, you pick places in Northern Ireland, I
pick places in the Republic, that we’d like to see. We can check which are closest
to the places Mrs. P. has planned and we can make some decisions. You know, I
don’t think I can climb up to the top bunk again...my muscles hurt from all my
puking.”
“I’ll take it,” Lee said as he tried to get up, “or
not...wait...here,” he said as he rolled himself, a pillow, and blanket off the berth and
onto the floor. “All clear, nice and warm for you...”
“But you’re on the deck!”
“I sleep, well, slept, on the deck most of the times when I just got back from special assignments. The rack
sometimes just felt too soft.”
“You sure, Lee?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Besides, this way I’m closer to the bucket.”
“Knew you must have had an ulterior motive,” Joe smirked and
turned off the laptop.
“Damn,” Chip said. “I wanted to see more.”
“Me too. I just wish I knew what Dr. Bunion treated him for.”
“Maybe we can’t find out, but Will can,” Chip said,“I’ll check
with him in the morning.”
And so we said goodnight.
As I prepared for bed, I couldn’t help thinking about Sir Walter
Raleigh, grateful that Doc’s never dumped a bucket of water on me to stop me
from smoking!
